


Crushed

by MyNameIsCatIamNoThief



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: About which hot man to date, Canon Universe, DameRey, F/M, Fast Burn Kylo / Rey, Force Bond (Star Wars), Kylo Ren and Rey Are Not Related, Kylo has problems, Multi, Poe and Kylo both crush on Rey, Poe has sexual tension with Rey, Poe has sexual tension with everyone, Poe has sexual tension with himself, Possessive Kylo Ren, Post-TLJ, Protective Poe Dameron, Rey is conflicted, Reylo - Freeform, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Poe / Rey, Takes place after Crait, post-TFA, pre-tros
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:27:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22157032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyNameIsCatIamNoThief/pseuds/MyNameIsCatIamNoThief
Summary: Kylo Ren wants Rey to give him everything. Poe Dameron wants to give Rey everything. Rey wants...well, what does Rey want? /// A fic that's an excuse to spend time with my two favorite Sequels characters, Poe and Kylo. A romance, with simultaneous slow-burn Kylo/Rey and Poe/Rey, although I can't promise that Poe won't develop sexual tension with...well, everyone he meets.
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron & Rey, Poe Dameron/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	1. After Crait

**Author's Note:**

> Bright Suns!
> 
> I always go by the maxim, "Write what you want to read," and I wanted to read a story where BOTH Poe Dameron AND Kylo Ren had a chance to be sexy. Rey's conflicted, but maybe it's not between sides of the Force...
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters presented.

“Poe Dameron.”

“I’m Rey.

“I know.”

Connix taps Rey on the shoulder, but her eyes linger a moment on Poe Dameron’s. He’s scruffy and battle-worn—they all are—but Rey notices his gentle smile, a mop of unruly black hair, and an intense focus in his eyes. A focus on her.

“Rey!” Connix puts a hand on Rey’s shoulder, and Rey snaps her head.

“Connix, I’m sorry, I’m a little—”

“No, don’t apologize, me too. We all need rest and a meal, but as one of the only people who’s flown the Falcon, can you step up front? I can’t understand our pilot, but I believe he needs help.”

“Yes of course, thank you.” Rey turns to leave, taking a deep breath and setting her shoulders.

“Mind if I tag along?” Poe’s voice pipes up from a few feet away. “The Millennium Falcon is a legend—more than a legend, she’s an…icon, a symbol of hope, a….” Poe casts his eyes down, “she’s all we got left right now.” He rubs his neck, suddenly looking very tired. “We have too few pilots, and I can fly. The faster I learn her, the better off we are.”

Rey’s brows furrow lightly, scanning Poe, right hand on his hip and leaning against the wall. There was something presumptuous about his tone that put Rey on edge, but he was right about needing to be ready to fly in an emergency. Besides, his reverence for the Falcon felt genuine, and Rey could respect a pilot who loved a piece of junk.

“Come on, Poe. Let me show you around.”

* * *

They headed for a moon. It didn’t have anything as built-up as an abandoned Rebel base, but it was an old mining hub with plenty of caves and their respective industrial and communications equipment. It would be basic, but perhaps just low-tech enough to skirt detection for a few months.

Rey and Poe were seated in the cockpit, Chewie having just left to sleep. They had been chatting animatedly about the Falcon, swapping stories of her adventures, but after a few hours the chatter slowed and they stared into space.

Rey shifted uncomfortably. She did not want the silence just now. She rubbed her eyes and leaned forward onto her knees. The enormity of their losses, the memory of Snoke ripping through her mind, the look on Kylo Ren’s face when she left, the stupidity of thinking she could ever change him…it was overwhelming. Pressure built up behind her eyes and her chest constricted.

She felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey. Are you okay?”

Rey barked out a laugh, a short, violent burst. “No,” she said. “No, I think I’m not.” She ground her palm against her forehead, as though she could knead out the intrusive thoughts.

Poe raised his hands in acknowledgement. “You’re right, I’m sorry, nothing is okay. But is there something I can do?”

Rey glanced at him. His eyebrows were raised in real concern, eyes searching her face. She pressed her hands to her temples, dragged them through her hair and said, “Talk. Please. I mean, if you can. About anything. Tell me about every ship you’ve ever flown, how to fix them and fly them. Tell me everything I need to know about the Resistance. Name every planet you’ve ever heard of. Just…anything.”

Poe’s eyes softened at the edges, sympathy and shared pain knitting his eyebrows together. Briefly and gently, he touched Rey’s knee. Then he began.

“My first flight was in an RZ-1 A-Wing Interceptor. An older model, but fast, not much more than a cockpit, the engines, and a hyperdrive. Helluva ship to learn on…”

They sped through the galaxy, talking until they were hoarse.


	2. Getting Settled

The moon turned out to be lush and verdant. Rey was told that it’s a lot of “Jungle,” although she didn’t know which plant that was. Something purple, she thinks. Or deep blue. They’ve been here a week and Rey finally has fifteen minutes to herself. The planetary day is almost four standard days long, so she hasn’t seen much of their surroundings during the extended darkness and it’s finally light out. Well, that and she’d been working 20-hour days in their makeshift camp setting up something habitable. In some ways, it felt good to have constant work for her hands, but exhaustion was catching up with her. Leia had urged her outside.

Rey imagined what it would be like to grow up on a planet with trees and water everywhere. There was a small village on the other side of the moon, and the inhabitants were friendly—they’d sold Finn rations without asking too many questions. Rey imagined that after the war, she would like to live in a small village on a small moon, with life exploding all around her.

Rey heard a rustling in the bushes nearby. She crouched, staff at the ready. There were no known predators on the moon. Villagers? Far away, but possible. Stormtroopers? She hadn’t seen any ships land, and radar would have picked them up. Kylo? She hesitantly prodded the Force for his presence, but didn’t feel a response. More rustling. Rey zeroed in on the clump of vegetation and prepared to strike.

Poe stumbled out, and Rey nearly struck him in the head. He ducked with a yelp, and Rey tried to yank back her attack, but it unbalanced both and they ended up on the ground.

“What the fark, Rey, it’s me!”

“Poe!”

He was breathing heavily, red splotches on his cheekbones and a sheen of perspiration on his forehead. Rey hadn’t seen him flushed before. There was something nice about it.

“Sorry, Poe, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Yes you did,” he grinned back, eyebrow cocked.

Rey chuckled. “You’re right, I did. But I didn’t know it was you. You can’t just rustle around the bushes. I thought you were a ripper-raptor!”

“Oh no, sweetheart, I’m something much more dangerous.” His eyes glinted, and Rey’s stomach felt funny.

“What—what were you doing out here anyway? I left you in the mess hall,” Rey stuttered and heaved herself up.

“Target practice, keeping sharp.” Poe shrugged. “But honestly I needed to let off a little steam. I’m not made for underground, I’m a pilot for force-sake. And there’s so few of us in there…sometimes you gotta get away from the same five people, you know?”

Rey nodded, although she had never felt that way. She’d had more interactions with people in the last week that she did in five years combined on Jakku.

Poe mistook Rey’s hesitant expression and said, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone you’ve escaped. Well, not if you don’t rat me out either.” He smiled and winked. Rey’s heart beat unevenly. She almost told Poe that she had been ordered outside by General Organa, that she found the caves comforting, that she’d still be working if she could, but she stopped herself. Instead, she offered a small smile, and let Poe think she was the sort of person who would escape to the surface to…what did he say?...let off steam.

They were both standing now, and Poe was brushing dirt off his pants. Rey was suddenly desperate for a few more minutes outside with him. She scrambled for conversation, and blurted out, “I was just looking for Jungles. Are there any around here?”

Poe laughed as though she had told a good joke. “What, this one not enough for you? The desert left you desperate for trees I guess, and I don’t blame you.”

Rey was very confused, and it must have showed on her face. Poe stopped laughing.

“It’s a tree?” she asked.

“Wait, what?”

“I don’t know. Rose told me that it’s mostly Jungles out here, but I don’t know what that is. I was just trying to clarify.” Rey felt very stupid. She was concerned her cheeks might be turning pink, and resolved to stop them. She balled her fists and set her jaw.

Poe gave a half smile, “My fault, sweetheart, I didn’t know what you were asking. You’re standing in the Jungle, it’s all around.” He gestured in a circle. “It’s like a desert, except the complete opposite in every way.” Another smile.

Rey was mortified. A Jungle was a biome, not a plant!

“Got it, thanks.” She gave a firm nod and headed back to the mine entrance. She was done taking a break.

Poe jogged after her. “No jungles on Jakku, huh?”

Rey shook her head and fought through some undergrowth. “Nope. Just sand. Sand and scavengers.” She grimaced a little at the flash of memories.

She and Poe arrived at the cave door. Poe turned to look at her. “I like scavengers, you know. Damned useful, and good fighters. I’d take one scavenger over ten troopers, any day.” He smiled, and it was so sincere Rey couldn’t help but smile too.

Then she rolled her eyes and punched him in the arm. “You’re a filthy liar, Poe Dameron, and I hope you don’t lie like that to General Organa or she’ll have your skin.”

“Believe me, I’ve already told General Organa she can have all the parts of me she wants, but she’s yet to take me up on it.” He accompanied this with an exaggerated, amorous wink, and Rey practically squealed.

“Poe! You didn’t!” Poe seemed to revel in her shocked disbelief and, pleased at having scandalized his audience, was about to continue when a stern and royal voice broke through their laughter.

“Commander Dameron,” said General Leia Organa, “How kind of you. I didn’t realize the offer was still on the table. I request _all parts_ of you head to hangar bay 6 – and that in the future, your public conduct reflects the dignity of your rank, regardless of your personal offers to the leadership.”

Poe, a mild blush on his face but mischief in his eyes, gave a sheepish salute. “Understood, General. My apologies.” A quick nod, and he turned on his heel and strut toward the hangar.

“Pilots.” Leia muttered.


	3. Let Go

Rey’s hip hurt from laying too long on her side, but she was feeling _just_ belligerent enough that she refused to move. The stone under her had warmed from her body heat, and when she shifted even slightly she felt the cold discomfort of touching exposed rock. So instead she laid there, unmoving, on the floor next to her bed.

Rey looked at her bed and felt irritated. She didn’t know why (well, she did know why, she had drunk more than she realized tonight and while it wasn’t her _first_ drink, it was her first time drinking among friends and she didn’t tell them and in the end she was honestly a little dizzy which was also why the solid floor was helpful but when Poe smiled at her and offered her that last drink with his hand on her back _she_ _took it_ ) but she was irritated and she didn’t want to sleep in a bed so by farking force she wouldn’t. Beds meant taking off clothes and shoes and whatever and she hated it all, all the little responsibilities that came with comfort and –

Suddenly there was oppressive, unnatural silence.

“Don’t tell me the Resistance can’t even find a spare cot for the Last Jedi.”

Rey shot up. Or, she tried to shoot up, but she actually pushed off her right arm too forcefully and rolled backwards like a stranded beetle, then scrambled to get her palms and heels on the ground, and _then_ she shot up to standing.

Kylo watched impassively.

“Did I wake you?”

“Never.”

Kylo paused. “What?”

“No, I mean…no. You didn’t wake me. I’m awake. And I’ll never go with you.”

Kylo’s gaze swept up and down Rey’s body. “Are you alright, Rey?” His voice was soft, concerned. He didn’t have his usual cowl and mask, but he wasn’t shirtless either –thank Force for that. He was dressed somewhere in between, a black longsleeve and pants. Perhaps a…casual outfit? Rey sniggered, visions of Kylo Ren wearing his _casual_ black outfit to the beach.

Kylo’s head cocked to the right, and he took a step toward Rey. Rey attempted an evasive maneuver, which was essentially to step back (‘wow! amazing plan!’ said her inner voice) but one of her feet caught on the other and she tripped.

Kylo lunged forward to steady her, and amazingly, the Force bond held. It wasn’t the careful, electrical spark of the hut on Anch-Toh, oh no -- this was Kylo Ren’s full body on hers, one hand grabbing her left shoulder, one arm around her lower back. His breath was warm in her face.

“Rey, have you been drugged? Does anyone in the Resistance know where you are?”

Rey was having trouble. The room was spinning again. Moreover, it wasn’t just spinning because of the alcohol – she was in the arms of Kylo Ren, not being crushed or tortured, but apparently being _saved_ (‘yeah, what a harrowing stumble,’ says Rey’s un-drunk mind) and his face was so close and warm and her heart was racing and he was supporting most of her weight and she was tempted just to rest here for a moment….

Kylo roughly grabbed her chin. “Rey, look at me.” He stared into her eyes for a moment. She found that she couldn’t, or didn’t want to, look away. In spite of herself, she smiled.

“Are you…Force, Rey, are you _drunk_?”

Rey frowned, and she really thought about it for a moment. Two Correllian whiskeys, one Pan-galactic Gargle Blaster (‘not the good stuff,’ Poe had said, ‘but it’ll do’), an unknowable amount of biir…

She nodded resolutely. “Yes. I believe I am drunk.”

Kylo Ren held her gaze for a moment, and then there was the smallest tug at his lips. His shoulders dropped a centimeter.

“You should be more careful, Rey. People can take advantage of you when you’re drunk.”

She weakly pushed at his chest, but it wasn’t particularly effective, and she ended up with her arms snuggled between the two of them.

“I can take care of myself. I…do…what…I…want,” she mumbled, words punctuated by half-hearted wiggles away from his grasp.

Kylo took the opportunity posed by her unsteadiness to force her back up against the wall. His left arm moved to the smooth stone beside her temple. She felt thoroughly trapped.

“Mmmm,” Kylo rumbled, forehead dipping to graze her hairline. “And what _do_ you want, Rey?”

“I want you to leave.”

Kylo searched her eyes. “That’s not true,” he whispered. “It would have been a better lie if I couldn’t hear your thoughts.” Rey winced and looked away. Kylo dipped down and his breath grazed her ear and she hated it, she swore she hated it, the goosebumps were because she was cold and scared.

“You’re cold, but you like my body heat, is that right? I can feel it. The confusion. Fear. There’s nothing to be afraid of, Rey. Do you want me to get closer?”

“Shut up! Get off me!”

“Anger. The Rey I know best.” Kylo’s lips traveled down to Rey’s jawline, down to the soft skin below her ear. She was trembling, and the more she tightened her muscles to stop the shudders the worse they became.

“Oh, what’s this? You’re wondering if I’m going to kiss your neck. Would you like me to, Rey?”

“I hate you.”

“Perhaps you do.” Kylo retreated, bringing his eyes level with Rey’s again. She met him square, determined to look at fierce and disgusted as possible, to look at him with every ounce of hate she could muster. A raised eyebrow from Kylo -- “You know, the more you have to _try_ to make me believe you hate me, the more I’m curious about what would happen if you let go.”

Rey wiggled one of her arms free and tried to claw at his eye, attempting an escape. Kylo deftly caught it and pinned it above her head. _Fark._

He smiled. “Let go, Rey. I can feel it. Every ounce of you, straining against what feels natural, what feels good.” His lips were hovering above hers now. He slowly, slowly brought her arm down from where it was pinned to rest on his shoulder. She felt his hair tickle her wrist – it was soft. She moved to feel it with her fingertips. Now her hand was around the back of his neck, now it was entwined in his hair, she stared at his lips, she tilted her head, oh Force –

And he vanished.


	4. Training Buddies

Beneath Poe’s closed eyes, he saw a technicolor swirl of blues, greens, and purples.

Then he violently threw up.

Luckily, he was already on the floor, resting on his side – how did he get on his side? – so he didn’t soil his clothes, but he did feel the tail end of his vomit pathetically dribble out the side of his mouth.

As he was contemplating the mystery of how his life had come to this, he threw up again.

_Twenty Minutes Earlier_

Poe had been watching Rey all week. She was normally shy, but this was different. She was _isolating_ herself. She ate breakfast early and lunch late, conveniently ducking out of the mess when she spotted Poe and Finn. He’d caught a glimpse of her repairing the Falcon’s landing gear, which no doubt could be improved but certainly wasn’t broken. BB-8 returned to him despondent that she’d ordered him away, and she’d snapped at Finn so badly that they weren’t speaking. Poe supposed that being a scavenger on Jakku must have been a solitary life, but she hadn’t acted like this the past two months.

Moreover, as the Lieutenant General of the Resistance, Poe determined that it was well within his official capacity to monitor the mental and emotional health of one of their greatest assets. In fact, Poe justified, it would be remiss of him _not_ to check on Rey.

So he walked over to her in the conditioning room, after having taken a moment to comb his hands through his hair and unbutton the top of his shirt – because it was hot in here, he thought, _not_ because he was going to talk to Rey.

She was doing sprinting drills along the far wall. Run, touch the ground. Run, touch the ground. Poe stopped behind one of her markers and watched silently. She continued without acknowledging him. Run, touch. Run, touch.

After about five more rounds, she stopped – at the other end. Chest heaving, she took a sip of water, wiped her forehead, and walked away.

“Rey! Rey, wait up!” shouted Poe. He jogged to catch up with her. She did not stop.

“Rey, that was some impressive sprinting back there. Were you using the Force or something? You were lightning.”

She shook her head. “Ran on sand my whole life. Gives me an edge on dry ground.” She continued walking.

“Rey, wait a sec. Can I talk with you?” No acknowledgement. “You’re just going to ignore a superior officer?” It was a jab. It worked.

“I report to Organa, not you,” she snapped. “What do you want, Dameron?”

Poe held up his hands, a sign of surrender. “I just wanted to see if you were alright.”

Rey looked him in the eyes for the first time in days. “I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine.”

“Well I am.” Her eyes flashed with annoyance, and it gave Poe an idea.

“Are you mad at me?”

“No.”

“Are you in love with me?”

“What?! No!”

“You’re acting like you’re in love with me.”

“I am NOT in love with you! You complete _ass_.”

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

“I have not, I’ve been training.”

“Well, do you want a training buddy?”

“No.”

Silence.

Poe liked accusing people of being in love with him, it was one of his favorite pastimes, but he was particularly enjoying Rey’s reaction. The blush on her cheeks was lovely.

More silence.

“Okay but do you want to kiss me?”

“NO! Fark’s sake, Poe, shut up!”

“Do you want to hit me?”

“Yes! You know that!? I sort of do want to hit you, you absolute –”

“Alright. Let’s go.”

“What?” Rey blinked.

“Come on. Hit me.” Poe swiped a wooden staff from the rack next to them and tossed it at Rey. She caught it single-handed and automatically twirled it behind her shoulder. Poe smiled. “I mean, try to hit me. If you can.” Poe grabbed his own staff and backed up toward the sparring box.

“Fighting is good for you, Rey,” he shouted, drawing attention. “Great way to release all that tension in your body.” Much of the room was now glancing between them. “Unless you had a better idea? I’ve also been told that a good lay –”

At that moment Poe raised his staff and took a blow from Rey that shocked the bones of his forearm. Damn, that hurt.

Rey circled. Poe shook out his right arm and smiled. “Alright, fair enough. Let’s do this. Don’t coddle me, Rey, because I wouldn’t dare go easy on you.” Poe grinned wickedly, but Rey may not have seen it because she was suddenly a flurry of movement, striking from every angle. It took all his concentration just to mount a defense, never mind attempt an attack.

She was relentless, powerful, and starting to make Poe genuinely afraid. He loved it. Rey’s agility and precision made him feel like a gangly teenager, all limbs and no training. After two long minutes, Poe was on the verge of forfeiting. Rey backed off just in time.

He threw his staff down. “So you’re telling me,” he panted, “that you fight like you’re trying to kill me, but you’re definitely _not_ mad at me?” Rey stiffened for a moment, before her face broke into a real smile, the first Poe had seen in a minute. He chuckled and shook his head. “Listen, if it takes beating my ass to put you in a good mood, that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”

Rey paused, still smiling. “You deserved it. You were being difficult.”

Poe looked into Rey’s eyes and his brain faltered. She looked…glowing. She looked so amazing that his chest hurt to see her smile at him.

Rey turned to leaved the floor and Poe panicked.

“One more round.”

She giggled. “No, Poe. That was enough.”

“One more. Just let me get a drink of water. This isn’t all about you, Rey, I need the training too. Besides, you gotta give me a chance to redeem myself in front of my crew.” Rey glanced around. It was true, a small crowd had gathered to watch them spar. She nodded. “One more round. Loser chugs a Gargle Blaster.”

“You don’t make winning sound like much fun,” he chuckled, and then jogged off. He also tried to shake off the daze that had just come over him…Rey was gorgeous, but there were lots of gorgeous people willing to kick his ass. He’d been cooped up too long, that’s all.

He drank some water and stripped down to his undershirt, throwing his collared uniform to the side. He actually _was_ hot now.

He returned to the floor to find Rey hadn’t moved. “No break?” She shrugged, but she also quickly averted her gaze. Poe noted the red tips of her ears and something in his chest heated up. “Okay then.” He rolled his neck and picked up his staff from the floor. “No backing down, sweetheart. Fight me like I’m the big bad Kylo Ren.” Rey’s eyes tightened, and a chill shot from Poe’s heart down to his stomach.

He was better prepared this time. She may be faster than him, but he wasn’t _actually_ untrained; he’d faced worse odds. The ferocity of her initial attacks had kept him off-balance, but now he took the offensive, ignoring a few blows she landed on his sides in order to continue pushing. He took advantage of a stumble to push her onto a knee, but she used the lower position to jab his shin. He grimaced – that’ll bruise. They continued to dance around each other – she struck, he parried (at least more successfully than last time).

After a particularly grueling bout, Poe and Rey were locked, staffs crossed, faces inches from each other. Poe saw a bead of perspiration trickle down her neck. Good; at least he was making her sweat.

Suddenly, he felt a shift – the air became cold. Rey started to gain ground in their standoff, inexorably pushing him down, like her muscles had become steel. He looked in her eyes. Were they…darker? “Rey?” he gasped. “Rey, stop. I give up. Rey!” She pushed him violently away with her staff, and he staggered back. He had barely gained his footing again when the end of Rey’s staff whipped him across the temple. Poe’s world went black.

* * *

The shower water had long ago run cold, but Rey couldn’t move. She wept and wept, the water carrying away her sweat and tears until she was numb.

After he hit the ground, people had swarmed around Poe, calling for emergency medical droids and dragging her away. Restraining her. Because they thought she was a threat.

She slammed her forehead against the wall. They were right. She was a threat. First Kylo and that damn kiss…or almost kiss…she had been tricked by the enemy, she was corrupted. She had believed for a moment that Kylo was right, that she should “let go.” She slammed her forehead again. Let go of what? Her morals? Her new family? Stupid girl. Still so naive. 

And then, after a week of torturing herself, someone took the time to try and draw her out, to actually check on her, and what does she do? She nearly kills him.

Poe would be alright, she was told. A serious concussion, but otherwise fine. He’d heal quickly with droid assistance, no more than a few days in the med bay.

She didn’t know what had happened. Or rather, she did know, but she didn’t know why or whether she could control it. She got wrapped up in the moment and she suddenly felt the dark side bolstering her strength, liquid fire in her muscles that would allow her to crush opponents like a bug. The fire seemed to whisper that she could win by being fast and brutal and she listened.

“Rey!” A small voice echoed from outside the shower. “The General requests a meeting. Her quarters. ASAP.”

Rey groaned. The General was sure to send her away. Everything she had just learned to love, gone. She’d thrown it all away to feel one moment of control. Rey turned off the shower and dried herself. She hoped the General would banish her somewhere warm.

* * *

“I hear you tried to kill the Lieutenant General of the Resistance today. It’s the talk of the base.”

Rey remained silent, looking at her shoes.

“Well?”

Rey looked up.

“Did you? Try to kill Poe Dameron?”

Rey shook her head vigorously. Tears threatened again. “No. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I would never want that, I would never want to hurt the Resistance or Poe. It was…it was the heat of the fight. It should never have happened. I’m so sorry.”

Leia looked Rey up and down critically, then nodded once. “I believe you, but it doesn’t mean I trust you. Rey, what happened? You can’t tell me that it was an accident. A direct hit to the temple _after_ he’d surrendered?”

The memory flashed in her mind. Poe’s terrified eyes, his confused expression as he stumbled away. The crack of wood-on-bone. Rey shifted from foot to foot. She’d have to tell Leia that she’d been drawn to the Dark Side, and then she’d be exiled. She took a deep breath and tried to enjoy her last moments on base.

“During the fight…” her voice came out a whisper, “I was thinking of Kylo Ren.” Rey winced. It wasn’t a lie. “The force…offered me strength and power. It felt like I was on fire, but a fire I could direct at anyone in my path. I think…I think it was the dark side. Luke told me he was afraid I’d be drawn to it. Once I tapped into the feeling, it took over. I wanted to win. I never would have intentionally hurt Poe, I just…I lost control.”

Rey stopped, but Leia didn’t interrupt. “I’m sorry. I understand if you need to ask me to leave.”

Leia sighed. “Well, at least you’re honest. I already knew all that, but it’s good to hear it from you.”

“You did?”

“Yes. I spoke with Poe. He described a change that came over you in those final moments. I’m not a Skywalker for nothing – I know the dark side when I hear it.”

Leia circled back around her desk and sat down. “I’m not going to send you away. You’d be killed or captured, and even if you were a threat to us, you’d be a greater threat in First Order hands. So no, you stay.”

Tears welled up again, this time in gratitude. “Thank you,” Rey whispered.

“This doesn’t mean there aren’t consequences. If anyone else had done this, they would be considered a traitor. You’re grounded, no piloting the Falcon. 8 p.m. curfew. No outside privileges without an armed escort. No one-on-one sparring. All until further notice. And you’ll begin weekly training sessions with me.” Leia’s eyes softened. “It’s for your own good. The crew won’t trust you unless they can see you accepting the consequences of your actions. And it’s high time I gave you some guidance about the Force – this may never have happened if I’d been working with you.”

Rey nodded, but she didn’t trust herself to speak. In that moment, she was certain she had never loved anymore more than she loved Leia Organa.

“You’re dismissed.”

Rey practically sprinted back to her room.

\--------------------

Chapter 5 coming real soon! Rey and Kylo have unfinished business...


	5. Nightmare

Rey is dreaming.

Her back is against the wall again, trapped under Kylo Ren’s arm. The energy is different this time, there’s no restraint or teases about being careful. His hands are tight on her waist, his thigh is pinning her to the wall, and he’s kissing her ferociously on the neck. His mouth is hot and wet and urgent, and just when Rey thinks it couldn’t feel any better, he starts to use his teeth. “That’s it, Rey. Enjoy it. Don’t fight.” Rey hadn’t been fighting, truthfully, but his words remind her – what was she doing? “No, no, Rey, let me have it. Just let go.” Rey’s mind was swirling – it felt so good – she wanted more – she wanted him to kiss lower – he sucked a little harder on a tender spot on her shoulder and she cried out, heard a growl from his chest – Kylo’s thigh began to grind between her legs and she felt something she didn’t have words for, something that scared her – it was too much – “Stop! Stop, I can’t!” Kylo pulled back roughly, though her body was still pinned. “Stop…” she whispered.

“Rey, why are you doing this?” he asked, low and intense. Having him look at her like that was almost more unbearable than being kissed. “I can _feel_ that you want it. You want me. You always have. Why can’t you let go?” His grip tightened on her shoulders.

Rey was at a loss for words. She was holding too many emotions. She wanted him to continue kissing her. She wanted to be wrapped in his arms, comforted and safe. She wanted him to leave, because something in her body felt dangerous and she didn’t know what would have happened if they kept going. She…didn’t know what she wanted. 

Kylo shifted his arms to encompass her tiny frame. “You don’t have to be afraid, Rey,” he muttered into her ear. “Don’t be afraid of how you feel – of what you want. I want it too.” Rey was breathing fast. Kylo’s hand massaged circles into her back, inching lower until it rested on the small of her back and pressed her firmly into him. It was different than his earlier urgency, but Rey found herself leaning into it, resting her head against his chest, moving her hips against his body in sync with his hands on her back. It felt…really good.

Kylo let out a small groan, and then he bent over and knocked Rey’s knees out from under her, sweeping her into his arms. He strode toward an empty corner of Rey’s room, kissing her ear the whole way, before he dropped her. She squealed, but landed on thin air – except the air was actually a luxurious black bed.

“And that’s how I know this is a dream,” mused Kylo.

“Right,” said Rey, suddenly colder than she’d ever been in her whole life. “This is a dream. I’m dreaming.”

Kylo’s eyes snapped to hers. “An odd thing for someone in _my_ dream to say. My fantasies aren’t usually so meta.” They stared at each other, suspicion in Rey’s eyes and a growing understanding in Kylo’s, until Rey breathed, “No. No…I’m dreaming. This isn’t happening. You’re not here. I’m going to wake up.” Rey felt a panic attack coming on. She ferociously dug her fingernails into her arm, drawing blood in an attempt to jolt herself awake. Kylo knelt down and ripped her hand away. He was smiling triumphantly.

“Rey, it’s real. It’s the Force Bond. We’re both here.” Rey tried to scramble backward but his grip was like a vice. “No, no, no more running away from me.” He yanked her forward, drawing her arm to his hip. “Not when I know how you really feel.”

“I’ll kill you!” snarled Rey.

“You can’t deny it anymore, Rey. I’m going to have you, and you’re going to like it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've left Poe in the med bay for too long. Let's go get him. 
> 
> Chapter 6 soon!


End file.
